I was wondering what I’ve been musing on recently and to be honest over the last couple months I’ve been grappling with pain and the winter blues. I’ve had to put a lot of self care into practice so that I can enjoy my life with the limitations I have. For those of you who have read my previous musings on self care, will know this is not something I’ve had much experience with as I’ve treated myself and my body pretty badly in my 47 years. So I’m very much a fledgling with this.
It’s Matariki: traditionally this was seen as the Maori New Year. Now the seven stars of Matariki is celebrated as a time for new beginnings.
What if you were able to mark a date where you could let go all of the pain and difficulty of the year before and celebrate your own new beginning. We often use January 1 as a commitment to new or revisited resolutions. Have you ever started off the year full of promises and at times, unrealistic expectations to yourself, only to find by February you’ve let yourself down? Each seemingly impossible resolution further beyond your grasp than it even felt on December 31st?
My dad would have been 80 this year! Instead he died 22 years ago. At 58. And as I age, suddenly 58 doesn’t seem very old at all. I’ve worked alongside people older than that and none of them seem elderly.
My mum worked up until she died; working with the elderly. Seems ironic now. 72, still working and suddenly she becomes sick, frail and elderly. My mum was gracious until the end. That word champions the grace my mother lived and died with. Thankful, loving, grateful and beautiful are all words that come to mind thinking about those last few weeks with mum.
It’s left me with this wound; this undescribable ache in my heart that has never gone away. I’ve come to realise that the intense grief I feel for the loss of my parents is testament to the love I had for them and them for me.
This month I’ve been thinking about purpose, achieving goals and what motivates us.
What if our goals could be as simple as realising and actioning our dreams? Dreams are incredibly important. Do your dreams keep coming back time and time again, with an almost nagging presence? It’s probably because you’re supposed to fulfil them. It could be that something inside you is calling out…so listen. Often when you love to do something it’s because you have a gift for it. So pay close attention to what you love as you may be overlooking your greatest gifts.
We all see the New Years blah blah blah resolutions looming and there’s that feeling of panic as we think oh gosh, what are my resolutions? What do I have to do to be all wise, zen like and perfect by April? We vow never to eat sugar, lose a thousand kilos, save a million dollars and so on. Making huge and unrealistic goals is the surest way never to reach them.
This month I’ve been looking a lot at self care and what this personally means to me. It’s different for everybody.
And I don’t want us to confuse self care with self pampering, which while lovely, isn’t what we actually need. Real self care often looks like the sort of thing we don’t want to do rather than what we desire. To illustrate this I will run you through a recent scenario which proved my point to me.
Maree, our Retreat MC, participant support coordinator and facilitator is here on a monthly basis to share her thoughts about life and weight loss surgery.